The past week has been mostly offset by my recovering from surgery, specifically having my wisdom teeth removed. What I've been told is that I'm quite old to be having this surgery done, as most people have them out before they turn 20. The thing is, I remember when those people got their teeth out, and how their faces swelled up for a week's time and they were on high-grade industrial painkillers right out of a Rush Limbaugh movie, and am glad that of my four wise teeth, three chose to mostly settle into my mouth while one ornery little bugger became impacted. This is probably why my pain was much less intense than might otherwise have happened. (Don't get me wrong, my lower jaw has endured a sizeable amount of trauma to the bone, which results in a constant dull ache that throbs when I don't get hopped up on ibuprofen, in addition to the gaping wounds from where my former teeth occupied my mouth.)
Fortunately, I've not been knocked into senselessness by the drugs I'm taking to offset the pain. As a result, not only am I far more ambulatory than I had expected, my senses have not completely left my body. This means that I've been able to push forward with the process of applying to grad school. Coincidentally, I've also spent nearly $700 in the last few weeks for what may ultimately be a fruitless endeavor.
Let's start back at the beginning.
1) The Idea
It was somewhere around the month of May, while I was homeless and couch surfing as I had sublet my apartment. (Brief shout out to the Bestuls and the Beans who tolerated my presence on their futon and couch for much of this time as I worked up the funds to afford my apartment once again. Traveling out west was the experience I needed when I needed it, and I'd do it again if I could, but I'd also have sublet my apartment a little sooner than I ended up doing, if only to return to my humble abode in a more timely manner.) As one can imagine, working part time at two jobs while living in someone else's home is not an ideal situation for someone who's always held Emerson's "Self-Reliance" to their heart as a mantra of sorts. Thinking back over where I wanted to be, I remembered that my initial promise to myself was that after three years of being out of college, I would start thinking about applying for graduate school. I didn't want to jump back in as soon as I graduated; most of the programs I was interested in wanted me to work up a sizeable amount of career experience as it was. Thinking back, I looked over my accomplishments and (with some helpful advice from several mentors) realized that I've actually done quite a bit since graduating. I've performed in several professional theatre productions; I've completed an internship at one of the most prestigious Shakespeare theatres in the country; I've become the only undergraduate to have a scholarly essay (that didn't suck) published in BGSU's The Projector; I've written a complete fantasy novel (that doesn't suck); I've made friends in high places; and, as of this coming summer, I will have directed a professional performance of "As You Like It" for a company that has grown in renown and reputation in its community. (Hopefully, it won't suck.)
Realizing this, I decided that yes, looking at graduate school requirements would be worth my while.
But in which field?
2) The Research
In my undergraduate studies, I fell in love with theatre. I knew that directing was a passion of mine ever since I was young, but I didn't realize that theatre spoke to me as strongly as it did. Focusing my study, I found that I could in fact direct with some measure of success.
What I didn't realize was how much I also loved writing. I'd been writing stories ever since I was in kindergarten. In college, it had fallen by the wayside, but I still kept several ideas for short stories that I told myself I would work on from time to time. Plays were another creative outlet that let me get my kicks out, short plays that were well received by friends and colleagues who enjoyed their presence. (The success of "Hunter Thompson Strikes Again!" is possibly my favorite memory of working in the theatre; it's the only show I'd ever seen in a student setting to receive a standing ovation. Not only that, but when it was requested for an encore presentation in Toledo, it received a second standing ovation. Yeah, I'm kinda proud of that one.) Writing on a grand scale fell off my radar.
So it was something of a surprise, yet completely understandable, when I fell back into writing following the passing of my mother. During May and June, I wrote the second draft of my novel and realized that while the first draft, in essence, sucked, the new work I was doing was improving the novel ten-fold. It became completely conceivable that I could make a living as a writer. (A Hard and Arduous Way of Life, to be sure, but a Way of Life nonetheless.) Looking over my options for graduate school, I knew that I could pursue either career and be completely happy with my choice, while still maintaining the other as a second passion.
So, if you could (and would) do both of these options, why do grad school at all? you might ask. There are three answers to that question.
1) To expand on my creative process, making myself better at my chosen field than I was before so as to provide opportunities that I would not have been capable of achieving before.
2) To gain practical experience as a teacher and open my avenues for working in a collegiate setting. It's no lie that my mother had wished fervently for me to continue my studies in graduate school, and that her presence in my life as a teacher impacted me greatly. For me, one of the greatest ways in which I could honor her memory would be to use my talents as an educator while still putting out new art into the world.
3) To give myself time to focus solely on my craft. Sure, I'm getting stuff done in the real world, but there's also having a job and paying bills to manage that comes with it. The result is my efforts are somewhat minimized from what I would like to be doing at this young and tender stage of my career. Two or three years solely focused on my craft would be immeasurably beneficial to my artistic abilities.
The ultimate decision I reached was this: I would apply to both M.F.A.'s in Creative Writing and in Theatre Directing. Whichever programs accepted me, with the best funding offers, would be the direction (no pun intended) that my studies would take. Sort of leaving it to the fates after doing everything in my power to achieve something.
It was settled. I now had a goal: to get into grad school for either writing or directing. Now I needed to pick out which ones.
3) The Schools
I looked at over fifty programs for creative writing, and upwards of twenty directing MFA programs. There are all kinds of places where I could practice, and all kinds of programs which would admit me at the drop of a hat. The problem with those is that I wouldn't be learning anything new; a cursory study of the programs revealed something only slightly more intense than my undergraduate studies had been. There were also some incredibly prestigious programs, programs with world-famous alumni. Needless to say, my chances of getting into these programs rested at somewhere above or below zero, depending upon wind fluctuations.
Proximity to home was a concern and a consideration. I didn't want to go to school on the East Coast, New York seemed too terrifying, the West Coast still seems alien to me at this point in my life (coupled with the imploding California school system), and the South is even more terrifying. Except Disney World, and Disney does not offer an MFA. At the same time, I wanted to keep pushing myself beyond my comfort zone; schools that had more remote settings that appealed to my love of nature might be good for writing. Schools near Chicago, with all of the connections that might entail, would be good for directing. SO MANY CHOICES.
As of now, I've settled on the following schools for their respective programs:
Creative Writing:
University of Iowa
Iowa automatically made the cut as the best Creative Writing program in the country. With that being said, I realize that the likelihood of getting into the Writer's Workshop is...well, let's just say that they admit 25 students a year out of 1400 that apply annually. That's an admissions rate of 1.7%. Eeks.
Iowa State University
Their program is actually entitled Creative Writing and Environment. Being an eco-hippie who's always wondering about how to pay tribute to my love of nature and desire to share the joy and wonder that is living on the planet Earth, this program spoke to me right from the start. I'm not saying that it's my preferred program, because I'd be happy getting into any of these, but it's up near the top.
Ohio State University
O!H! - I!O!
University of Colorado - Boulder
Because sitting on the side of a mountain solely to write would be the best experience that I can think of.
University of Michigan
Similar to Iowa. Also, this goes against 25 years of training myself to hate That School Up North. If I get it, it would be amazing, but I'd immediately lose 10% of my Facebook friends. Maybe not that many.
University of Idaho
Not just because it's the Vandals, let me get that out there right now. This school's program is actually remarkably similar to Iowa State's environmental study program. And having visited the Palouse, I can testify that it's a perfect writing environment out there. If not isolated from anything remotely human.
Theatre Directing:
Illinois State University
I've wanted to apply to this school for years. They have a fantastic theatre program, focused on classical studies, and their program features a great deal of hands on work that greatly appeals to me. Plus they're very closely connected to Chicago and also require you to complete an internship at a qualified regional theatre. Sort of my ideal scenario for learning to direct at a graduate level.
Purdue University
Much like Illinois State, only with 100% more Boilermakers.
Southern Illinois University - Carbondale
This program came highly recommended by way of my mentors, and features more hands on work. That was essentially my biggest requirement of a directing program (besides obtaining an assistant ship), allowing me to have access to a great deal of practical experience. With guided feedback, that would allow me to advance further into my abilities as a director than simply sitting in a classroom doing scene work would ever do. Also, this would finally let me explore Southern Illinois. (Not that I'm shallow or anything.)
Ohio University
Honestly, this might not make the cut; I've heard great things about the program and about the school, and it does come highly recommended. It might just be a victim of the costs of applying. (More on that in a second.)
Just Missed the Cut:
DePaul University
The only program in Chicago I liked, but they don't offer an assistant ship. That means loans. Guh.
Bowling Green State University
For all intents and purposes, BGSU does have a great creative writing program. It offers an assistant ship, and is a familiar setting. The downside is it's a familiar setting; I have many friends there already, and have experienced most of what the town has to offer. Going back to learn to write might not be the best thing for me. Even if it would be an all new program with faculty that I've not worked with before, it would be the same setting that I'd been in for five years. Consequently, they just missed the cut.
4) The Applications
Having picked out the schools, now I set to putting together my materials. Each application required a Curriculum Vita, a glorified academic resume. Putting that together wasn't as hard as I had thought, with much welcomed assistance from my mentors from undergrad. It was putting this together that helped me further realize how much I've done over the last few years.
The bitch was writing a statement of purpose. Doing research on the subject led me to discover that there are unwritten rules to writing these things: use descriptive grammar; don't be afraid to brag about yourself, but don't embellish; avoid certain words; make it pop, yet don't make it too crazy. I spent several months agonizing over how to write a solid statement of purpose before finally committing something to paper. Even then, it had to change depending on the program I was applying to. While forcing myself into a deadline brought out some of the better results, dealing with the statement of purpose will not be something I miss about this whole process.
Letters of recommendation followed, much the same as when I applied for internships, and once again, I am indebted to anyone and everyone who wrote a letter spouting my virtues (or lack thereof).
The last piece of each application was if a creative sample was not. For creative writing, this meant manuscripts of stories and excerpts from my book (typically in the form of chapters). My short stories "The Duet" and "Wren who is Raised by Wolves" were given a quick edit and revision, and as I finished the third and a half draft of my book, several chapters were pulled out. The samples varied between 25 to 80 pages, and each gave a quality representation of my writing capability. For directing, only one school required a portfolio of work, quickly drawn together with highlights from my undergraduate coursework, my directed shows, and my internship.
No, the applications were easy. The bitch was paying for them.
5) The Fees
It's no secret that colleges and universities are increasingly run by administrative costs, much as a business would be. It's also no secret that paying for college remains an expensive endeavor. What's a complete scam is how expensive it's getting simply to apply for admission into college.
Before I did anything, I was required to take the GRE (Graduate Record Exam) for most of the colleges I applied to. Simply taking that exam cost me $175. It graciously allowed me to send my score to four colleges for free, but each additional score that I had to send out would cost an additional $25.
Here's a rundown of the costs of each application, along with if I had to pay a GRE fee or not.
Ohio State - $40; GRE - $25
Colorado - $50; GRE - $25
Michigan - $65; GRE submitted early
Iowa - $60; GRE submitted early
Iowa State - $40; GRE submitted early
Idaho - $60; GRE NOT REQUIRED (Woo!)
Illinois State - $40; GRE submitted early
Purdue - $60; GRE - $25
SIUC - $50; GRE - $25
Ohio - $50; GRE NOT REQUIRED
If you factor in the $175 GRE fee, the $20 I paid in postage to mail out transcripts and manuscripts, and the $20 used to pay for copies and FedEx computer usage time, the grand total for just applying to grad school without knowing if I actually get in or not comes to: $830.00.
And to think, I got into this so I could ultimately make more money in my career.
Where I Stand Right Now)
As of right now, I still have to send in materials for Idaho, SIUC, and OU (though OU might fall victim to my not wanting to spend another $50 for a school I'm not that excited about in the first place) and will be waiting until late February/early March to hear if I've gotten in to any of these schools. As I've mentioned before, I don't want to go into major, soul-sucking debt for the next three years of my life, so if I do get into a school minus an assistantship, I will have to strongly consider turning down the offer. As it stands though, I feel like I've built a fairly competitive case for getting into grad school and earning the right to teach introductory courses. Only time will tell if the admissions boards will see me in the same light. In the meantime, I'm also waiting on interviews for both Illinois State and for SIUC before they make a final decision; I'm thinking of it as a job interview for a three year teaching contract. All I can do now, however, is wait.
Oddly enough, that's proving to be the hardest part of the whole process.
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