"Sometimes"...Twenty-Eight Erstwhile Things I Worry About

Sometimes...

I worry that I don't get offended easily enough/I worry that I get offended too easily.

I worry that I'm not aggressive enough/I worry that I'm overly aggressive.

I worry that I don't care enough/I worry that I care too much.

I worry that I'm in over my head/I worry that I'm holding myself back.

I worry that I'm wasting my time/I worry that I don't have time enough.

I worry that I'm rushing into things/I worry that I've dragged my feet for too long.

I worry that I'm afraid to embrace change/I worry that I'm afraid to embrace stability.

I worry that I'm not generous enough/I worry that I'm overly generous.

I worry that I don't call/text/email enough/I worry that I call/text/email too much.

I worry that I'm not concerned about being a slob/I worry that I'm overly judgmental of my slobbiness.

I worry that I've spread myself too thin/I worry that I'm not doing enough.

I worry that I waste too much time/I worry that I don't relax enough.

I worry that I'm spending too much money/I worry that I'm being too scrupulous at a time I should be living.

I worry that I don't get out enough/I worry that I don't spend enough time at home.

...

That's twenty-eight concerns for my life as I'm about to turn twenty-eight. I thought about adding a GIF for each one, but...well, I'm lazy. Also, I don't write for Buzzfeed. How valid are some of these things? Depends on the line. Some are rational. Some are irrational. That being said, I've made strides to worry and fret less about things, because I don't really want much more stress in my life.

The above picture is taken from a Megabus on the way to Chicago, and will be the cover of whatever alternative-folk album I eventually release. It's a nice picture - the trip was after my sabbatical at home, I was going back to Chicago after a brief flirtation with moving back to Dayton, and I wasn't too terribly stressed. I was about to go on vacation by myself for the first time in a while. I felt rejuvenated after a summer working in theatre, ready for whatever step came next. But I was still full of worries - would my job be the same? would I finally get some kind of break in theatre? what would happen?

When I look at that picture, I feel calmer. I return to it a lot. It soothes me. The impression of motion is there, but it's still, a snapshot. The car is going one way, I am traveling another, and some other hippie-dippie bullshit the point is I like that picture. High five, Instagram.

So, as I turn twenty-eight (in two weeks), I feel accomplished, further along than I was when I took that picture, and definitely not the same person. I'm figuring things out.

But I still have worries.